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welcome to nurture 101!

Home
what is nurture?
why is nurture important?
Bonding and Attachment
More About Empathy
More About Self-Awareness
Touch
Discipline
More About Unconditional Love
More About Honesty
More About Respect
More About Encouragement
More About Safety
Results of Lack of Nurture
Nurturing Your Children
Turning Nurture Inward
Nurturing Mother Earth
Re-parenting / Self Parenting & Nurturing Adult Children
Nurturing Spirituality
Nurture in Business

A not for profit network of self-help websites.

You have found the emotional feelings network!

Welcome to the newest site within the emotional feelings network of sites!
 
nurture 101!
 
It's been too long in coming!

"You can judge a society by how they treat their weakest members."

Mahatma Gandhi

who needs nurturing?

 
Welcome! I hope I can help you find what you're looking for! Anytime you see an underlined word in a different color you're being offered an opportunity to learn more than what you came here for. It's important to understand the true meanings of your emotions and feelings as well as many other topics that are within this network. This entire network is set up to help those who want to help themselves find a sense of peace in their lives - discover who resides within and recover from whatever life has dealt you. Clicking on the underlined link words will open a new window so whatever page you began on will remain waiting for you to get back to it!
 
If you can't find what you're looking for here, scroll down to see an entire menu of what is offered within the emotional feelings network of sites
 
kathleen

"Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it."
 
~Vincent Van Gogh

I am absolutely sincere in my invitation to send me an e-mail. If you'd like to vent - share your history - feel validated, make a new friend or just ask a question... I'm here and will always answer! kathleen

"It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.”
 
Rosemarie Rosetti

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Talents are best nurtured in solitude, but character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world”
 
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

look within... do you need to be nurtured?

C'mon! send me an e-mail!

 
wild colors? It's about life being colorful. It's about our emotions and feelings adding color to our lives. It's about thinking in colorful hues instead of just black and white thinking.
 
don't like them?
 
Click the link below and send me an e-mail to tell me so!

click here to send me some mail!

have you discovered you need nurturing?
what is nurture?

Need information concerning mental health issues? These two sites might be what you're looking for!

click this animation to visit the site!

Sites addressing Mental Health issues:

 

anxieties 101

This website was actually the original website of the entire network. It was designed to show how our mental health can affect all of us - no matter what gender or what age. It also shows how our lifestyle factors affect our mental health.

 

Pages within anxieties 101 are:

 

about anxieties 101

about mental illness

my own personal inventory: an exercise in studying one's past

generalized and social anxiety

panic disorder

phobias

obsessive compulsive disorder

post traumatic stress disorder

depression

how it all works: a glossary of mental health words, explanations of how the brain works, chemicals in the brain, stigma of mental illness, etc.

children and mental illness

teenagers and mental illness

young adults and mental illness

women and mental illness

men and mental illness

seniors citizens and mental illness

lifestyle diet

lifestyle exercise

lifestyle sleep

lifestyle relaxation

lifestyle counseling

lifestyle medications

disasters

 

sub-pages:

bipolar disorder

phobia list

affective or mood disorders

sleep disorders in children

children and parenting

hormonal problems with women and mental health

physical illnesses to watch for

trauma

my personal dealings with post traumatic stress disorder

 

anxieties 102

A carbon copy site of anxieties 101 - just more information.

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family”
 
Virginia Satir

what is nurture?

try your own personal growth recovery journey

try recovering 101
 
This site describes a personal growth recovery journey and the questions you might have.
 
the homepage
 
what is this site about? why bother? what is recovery? how can it help me?
 
what is the emotional feelings network of sites? it's one person's recovery story - shared with you!
 
how to use the network for all you stubborn, hard headed people, like I used to be!
 
how it all comes together
 
it's all about you learning to love you!

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Next to reasoning, the greatest handicap to the optimum development of Man lies in the fact that this planet is just barely habitable. Its minimum temperatures are too low, and its maximum temperatures too high. Its day is not long enough, and its night is too long. The disposition of its water and earth is distinctly unfortunate (the existence of the Mediterranean Sea in the place where we find it is perhaps the unhappiest accident in the whole firmament).
 
These factors encourage depression, fear, war, and lack of vitality. They describe a planet, which is by no means perfectly devised for the nurturing or for the perpetuation of a higher intelligence.”
 
James Thurber

dealing with my "self" issues

the self pages

 

The self pages started out because I found the need to learn more about myself in my personal growth recovery journey. This site speaks to "self" emotions and feelings; for example - self acceptance and self confident. It's important that we learn as much as possible about our own selves as we can't move forward in personal growth and recovery until we've faced our own self. Check it out. The following pages are available on this site!

 

the self pages - the homepage

the self

selfless

self absorbed

self acceptance

self actualization

self affirmation

self blaming

self care

self centered

self concept

self confident

self consciousness

self contentment

self control

self critical

self deceptive

self defeating

self defense

self destructive

self development

self disclosure

self discovery

self doubt

self esteem

self examination

self forgiveness

self growth

self hatred

self harm - self injury

self healing

self help

self image

self image

self improvement

self induced

self judgment

self indulgent

self liberated

self loathing

self love

self motivated

self protective

self punishment

self reinforcement

self responsibility

self sabotage

self soothing

self suppression

self supportive

self talk

self victimization

self worth

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"First you need only look: Notice and honor the radiance of Everything about you... Play in this universe. Tend All these shining things around you: The smallest plant, the creatures and objects in your care. Be gentle and nurture. Listen...”
 
Anne Hillman

click this pic to visit the site now!

abuse 101

 

Abuse and domestic violence were once included in the original site website I designed - anxiety understanding - but had to be taken out when anxieties 101 became a reality. It was important to me to include this in information pertaining to mental health because I personally lived in domestic violence my entire life, but had never known about mental illness.

what is nurture?

Even after visiting the emergency room almost everyday for one year, no one ever told me I might be experiencing an anxiety or panic attack. I had several endoscopic procedures and saw specialists regularly, even took Percocet while pregnant to control my chest pain because the specialists didn't understand what was causing me the unbearable pain.

 

I was finally diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, depression and an eating disorder. I firmly assert that all victims of abuse and domestic violence need to engage in a mental health assessment when entering shelters, as well as their children. If mental health was a priority, perhaps it wouldn't take women so long to leave their abusive husband, partners, parents, or whoever instead of it taking up to seven times of leaving the abusive situation to finally leave for good.

 

The following pages are found on the abuse 101 website:

 

the homepage

if you are being abused now

about abuse

about control

about abuse of power

intimidation

manipulation

about abusive people

survival behaviors

emotional abuse

child abuse

bullies - both childhood and adult

teen dating violence

elder abuse

verbal abuse

physical abuse

sexual abuse

spiritual abuse

financial abuse

narcissistic abuse

abuse at work

domestic violence basics

coping mechanisms

domestic violence shelters

leaving an abusive relationship

abusive women

resources

once abused

if your abuser is a cop

if your abuser is your parent

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don't over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”
 
Leo F. Buscaglia

look within... do you need to be nurtured?

click here and visit the site!

night eating

 

Welcome! Once again, I had to personally include eating and sleeping disorders in my own personal growth recovery journey so a website emerged concerning them all. I personally have dealt with night eating syndrome, an eating/sleeping disorder most of my life. I moderate a support group for night eaters, visit the site by clicking the above link to join the group. You'll see the link on every page to join.

 

Eating disorders, mental health, abuse, domestic violence are all connected. This was a very difficult part of my recovery. Although I beat eating at night, my sleep remains disordered and my eating habits are still not as healthy and consistent as they need to be.

 

To learn more about the site, just click on the link above! Here are the pages included within the night eating website:

 

the homepage

night eating... what is it?

what's your relationship with yourself like?

eating disorders

obesity

abuse and trauma

still searching? click here

about sleeping

sleep disorders

emotions and feelings

are you mindful and aware?

anxiety disorders

the latest scoop

take my survey

how it all works

where does all your energy go?

my personal story

nobody's perfect

lifestyle diet

dieting?

lifestyle exercise

lifestyle sleep

you are a valuable person

lifestyle relaxation

lifestyle counseling and medications

words of encouragement

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to nurture it in solitude and to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads.”
 
author unknown

what is nurture?

changes

 

Both changes websites have the same pages, although changes 2 has more up to date information!

 

The following pages are found in the changes sites!

 

the homepage

gimme contact

gimme goals

gimme a plan

gimme no hang ups!

lifestyle diet

protein

carbs

fruits

vegetables

fats

sweets

marvelous miscellany

lifestyle exercise

exercise defeat

aerobics

cycling

endurance training

gardening

hiking

isometrics

pilates

rowing

running

strength training

stretching

swimming

tai chi

walking

water aerobics

yoga

lifestyle sleep

lifestyle relaxation

aromatherapy

massage

meditation

relaxation breathing

relaxation techniques

lifestyle counseling

accupuncture

behavioral counseling method

cognitive behavioral counseling method

electroconvulsive therapy

group therapy

interpersonal therapy

lifestyle medications

emotions and feelings

lifestyle quit smoking

volunteering

relationships

 

There are more hidden pages within the site for each topic listed!

read the quote by John Lennon

“We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.”
 
John Lennon

C'mon! send me an e-mail!

click here to send me some mail!

nurture a seedling

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.”
 
Mike Murdock

what is nurture?

the layer down under

 

I thought of the name for the next few sites because throughout my personal growth recovery journey it seemed that I was unpeeling the layers within to find more things to discover and figure out within my own self. So as you go through this site - you'll find the second stage of what I found was needed for a personal growth recovery journey and as you visit the next few layer down under sites, you'll see how you are peeling back the layers of time in your own journey as well!

 

the homepage

addictions:

covers three pages including alcohol, drugs, smoking, gambling, sex, the Internet, prescription medications, shopping and more!

attention to attitude

extracting beliefs: where did your belief system come from?

befriending your body image

boundaries

accepting change

examining emotions: and emotional intelligence - what is that?

expectations

feelings - our messengers

humor

insight

inspiration

intentions - do they matter?

investigating intuition

what is "letting go"

suggesting learning listening skills

mingling in mindfulness

opinions - what's yours?

living in the present moment

reflection

explaining risk taking

spirituality

stress - it's truly a problem

thoughts, thought process, and thinking - 3 whole pages of information!

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”
 
Lao Tzu

the layer down under that!

who needs nurturing?

 

the layer down under that

 

the homepage

about the layer down under experience

looking within - thoughts and feelings about whose fault things are

looking within - am i an abuser?

looking within - am i someone who abandons others?

consistency - learn about it and use it!

about suicide - it's a shame

coping mechanisms

circumstances

communication skills - 2 pages of info

personality and temperament

family dysfunction
 
 
the homepage
addictions
beliefs
intuition
resistance
change
emotions
expectations
feelings
body image
listening skills

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend". We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older. The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
 
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age when a busy life and changing geographies can cause us to neglect those friends. Today is the day to invest in those people we hope will call us 'old friend" in the years to come.”
 
Grant Fairley

have you discovered you need nurturing?

click here if you're thinking about your religion

different religions

 

Throughout my personal growth and recovery journey I've had to become very truthful with myself concerning how my religious beliefs swayed my thinking throughout my difficult past. Defining our own personal religious beliefs, I believe, is something very important instead of just adopting the beliefs of our parents. Take a peek and see if anything touches you!

 

the homepage

about this site

my first religion

believing in God

Sharing your Story

recovery - does religion help in recovery?

spirituality

different religions

why is religion important to us?

domestic violence and religion

did you ever join a cult? was it spiritual abuse?

do they really care about you at church?

getting informed

practices, traditions, and service work

bible talk

youth and religion these days

ask me!

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"He who nurtures benevolence for all creatures within his heart overcomes all difficulties and will be the recipient of all types of riches at every step.”
 
Chanakya

what is nurture?

click here to go there!

children 101

 

In keeping with my original theme in anxieties 101 - I wanted to take the gender/age groups a step further with their own personal sites. Information concerning children is of the utmost importance since children don't come with how to manuals when they are born; I feel it's important to look at our own upbringings, realize the results of the parenting practices of our parents and then teach ourselves what different parenting skills are needed to raise emotionally and physically healthy kids!

 

the homepage

mental health issues facing children

Mental Health: In the womb and the first year of life

Mental Health: Two, Three and Four for more!

Mental Health: The Elementary School Child

Mental Health: The Chaos Begins! Almost teens!

(Teens have their own site)

Emotions and Feelings

Attachment

Temperament

Just Love 'Em - What children need

Children and Fear

Children and Anger

Children and Control

Power Struggles

How to Communicate

Limits and Boundaries

Self Esteem

Dealing with Bullies

Discipline

Character and Values

Social Skills

Children and Friendships

Children need Extended Family

Lifestyle Factors - diet, exercise, sleep, relaxation

Children and Responsibilities

School and Education

Sex Education

Spirituality

Gifted Children

Children with Special Needs

Children with Special Problems

Children and Stress

Abuse and Neglect

Dysfunctional family life

Children and Divorce

Parenting Tips

Adoption

Same Sex Parenting

Step Families

Foster Homes

No Kids, be a mentor!

When Kids Self Medicate

When a Parent Dies

When a Sibling Dies

Children and Trauma

 

There's more information here, some pages aren't completed, but as always - this network is a work in progress - a personal challenge that is included in my own personal growth recovery journey! I do the best I can to help as many people and address as many topics as possible!

have you discovered you need nurturing?

"The very greatest things - great thoughts, discoveries, inventions - have usually been nurtured in hardship, often pondered over in sorrow, and at length established with difficulty.”
 
Samuel Smiles

what is nurture?

click here to go there now!

 
 
teenscene has been undergoing some changes, but pay it a visit and recommend it to a teen you know!
 
 
 
you've found teenscene
about
understanding
facts
anxiety disorders
panic disorders
phobias
post traumatic stress disorder
obsessive compulsive disorder
depression
how it works
her diet
his diet
her exercise
his exercise
she's sleeping
he's sleeping
her relaxation
dear kat
his down time
counseling
medications
emotions and feelings
values - what does that word mean to you
learning how to communicate
her choices
his choices
her relationships
his relationships
her creativity
his creativity
school - what's up with that?
tolerance in diversity
running away
no one cares about me!

have you discovered you need nurturing?

I certainly believe that being in contact with one's spirit and nurturing one's spirit is as important as nurturing one's body and mind.
 
Laurence Fishburne

what is nurture?

visit angels and princesses - click here!

 
 
 
angels and princesses is the teen girls site that is breaking off from teenscene! There's just too much info for girls and guys to be included in one site and not enough space! It's still a work in progress but check it out!
 
welcome
homepage
why visit?
who are you?
a girlz gotta diet!
a girlz gotta workout!
beauty sleep
self pampering
her choices
her relationships
do you have an attitude?
her family life
her spirituality
her creativity
her favorite things
 
 
 
 
 
 

have you discovered you need nurturing?

Looking back, I realize that nurturing curiosity and the instinct to seek solutions are perhaps the most important contributions education can make.
 
Paul Berg

have you discovered you need nurturing?

click here to go to this site now!

look within... do you need to be nurtured?

 
 
parental alienation is a trend that's fast becoming too common in divorce and custody fights. I experienced this some years back and I pray that it never happens again to anyone else. It's horrifying!
 
homepage
a typical divorce
parental alienation
PAS parental alienation syndrome
the part of the children
the alienator
the alienated
emotional abuse
my personal story
resources
sources

have you discovered you need nurturing?

I come from a great family. I've seen family life and I know how wonderful, how nurturing, and how wonderful it can be.

Sidney Poitier

what is nurture?

 
Realizing that the mind/body connection can't be ignored I figured one day that it was time to open up a site that dealt with that very connection. This site while still in the building stages - offers you - when possible - a direct connection from the emotional part of you to the physical part of you. It's connected. Get with the program and see how important it is to be aware of this!
 
the homepage
about this site
lifestyle factors and your physical health
exercise and your physical health
Blood Pressure
the heart
women and their heart
men and their heart
heart disease
treatment for heart disease and heart attack
how emotions and feelings affect physical health
diabetes
your kidneys
stroke
respiratory system
asthma
the glossary
drugs these days
cattle prodding... the tests they have to do
illnesses and the emotions and feelings they produce
the immune system
then there's cancer
men and cancer
women and cancer
cancer and your mind
cancer and your lifestyle factors
living in chronic pain
osteoporosis
arthritis
the nervous system
nerve disorders
Alzheimer's and dementia
 
Please be patient as these pages take time to fill up!
 

therapy through artwork

I was absolutely drawn to this painted picture that was painted in an art therapy program. If you are an artist or just like dabbling - I have about 30 websites within the network that need to have pictures added to them. I would like to extend an invitation to those who are able to paint, take a photo and send me a copy so I can add your artwork to the network somewhere.
 
If your artwork belongs in a certain category or with a certain emotion or feeling - I'd love to add it to that page! You can send me an e-mail anytime with your photos and directives. If you have a story to share about your personal growth recovery journey - I would be honored to read it and if you feel as though you can share it - I would love to add it with your artwork!
 
Happiness.... kathleen

have you discovered you need nurturing?

“Management is about arranging and telling. Leadership is about nurturing and enhancing.”

Thomas J. Peters

C'mon! send me an e-mail!

click here to send me some mail!

As you explore through the lists of emotions and feelings on the right...
 
Remember that when you are thinking about who you are now, check out the emotions and feelings that you may be experiencing. When you think about who you would like to become... check out the emotions and feelings you would like to experience!
 

learn how to nurture your world!

Nurturing our Children; Nurturing the Earth

by Hannah Sullivan

...I once told a group of environmental activists, "You can save a forest today, but if we don't raise children consciously, it will be cut down tomorrow." From this perspective we see that the well being of children sits at the root of every endeavour. With out happy, healthy children, we have no forest, no peace, and no world.
A powerful body of research grounded in the fields of neuroscience, psychology, biology and genetics points us towards the importance of the early years and how bonding, or the lack of it, dictates a child's sense of his relationship to the world and himself. We as parents literally have in our hands, the ability to create a violent culture or a peaceful one.
(* Ecologist and Editor of Kindred magazine, one of the world's most endorsed parenting journals, Kali Wendorf is a passionate advocate of social change; particularly as it relates to the role of parents in our society. She feels that any movement to address any of our society's woes, including climate change or environmental degradation, is pointless unless the importance of bonding between the child and parents is addressed and acknowledged in public policy: "Because sustainability begins at conception." She lives in Mullumbimby, Australia with her family.)

Kindred Magazine, Vol. 9 March, 2004
"Our Child, Not Mine Ending the parent blame-game"

nurture each other

Nurturing Friendship in Marriage

Good marriages may seem rare these days, but a leading marriage expert says it’s not complicated - or even necessarily difficult-to make a marriage last. Friendship, says John Gottman, is at the core of a strong marriage. Friendship between couples means they “know each other intimately” and “are well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes and dreams,” Gottman says in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (published by Crown).

Based on twenty-five years of research, The Seven Principles also says couples in good marriages “have an abiding regard for each other,” express this esteem in many ways large and small, respect each other, and enjoy one another’s company. Gottman has also found that the quality of a married couple’s friendship is the most important predictor of satisfaction with sex, romance, and passion.

It’s Not Complicated

Gottman believes the principles that make a marriage work are “surprisingly simple.” Happily married couples aren’t smarter or more beautiful than others, and they don’t live in castles in the clouds where there’s no conflict or negative feelings.

They’ve simply learned to let their positive feelings about each other override their negative ones. They understand, honor, and respect each other. They know each other deeply and enjoy being together. They do little things every day to stay connected and to show each other they care. In short, they are friends.

As simple as it sounds, happy marriages are based on a foundation of friendship.

A Case Study

Take the case of Andrew, a surgeon who works long hours at the hospital and is frequently on call, and his wife, Julie, who is a school principal. Instead of letting their strenuous schedules become a relationship roadblock, Andrew and Julie have found ways to keep their friendship strong.

If she has an important meeting, he remembers to call home and see how it went. If he’s working late, she brings his dinner to the hospital because she knows that he hates hospital food. When he orders pizza for the family, he includes a side of garlic bread because he knows it’s Julie’s favorite. Even though she prefers romantic comedies, she went to “Star Wars” with him because she knows he loves sci-fi. Even though he’s not religious, he goes to church with the family because it’s important to her.

Andrew and Julie are maintaining the friendship that fuels their love. Because their friendship is strong, they are more likely to have positive feelings about each other and their marriage. They are more likely to experience what Gottman calls “positive sentiment override,” where their good feelings about each other are so strong that they eclipse negative ones. Besides making their marriage more fulfilling and more romantic, Andrew and Julie’s focus on the positive in each other protects them when negative feelings about each other come up. It’s easier for them to shrug off the small but inevitable disagreements of married life.

On the other hand, when a couple lets the friendship in their marriage decline, negative feelings can more easily cause minor issues to erupt into major, relationship-threatening conflicts. For a couple like Andrew and Julie, it will take a much more serious issue to upset their relationship.

Practical Ideas

If you want to strengthen your marriage at its core, build the friendship between you and your spouse. Practical ideas for doing this include:

Know your spouse well. How well do you know each other? To find out, take the following quiz, adapted from Gottman’s book. Answer each question True or False.

  • I can name my partner’s best friends.
  • I know what stresses my partner currently faces.
  • I know the names of those who have been irritating my partner lately.
  • I know some of my partner’s life dreams.
  • I am very familiar with my partner’s religious beliefs.
  • I can outline my partner’s basic philosophy of life.
  • I can list the relatives my partner likes least.
  • I know my partner’s favorite music.
  • I can list my partner’s favorite three movies.
  • I know the most stressful thing that happened to my partner in childhood.
  • I can list my partner’s major aspirations.
  • I know what my partner would do if he/she won a million dollars.
  • I can relate in detail my first impressions of my partner.
  • I ask my partner about his/her world periodically.
  • I feel my partner knows me fairly well.

If you answered “true” to more than half of the items, your friendship with your spouse is an area of strength in your marriage. You know what makes your partner tick. If you didn’t do so well, plan now to get to know your spouse better and become better friends. Like all worthwhile goals, you’ll need to make building the friendship in your marriage a high priority, and you’ll need to plan specific ways you will act differently.

Practice “positive sentiment override.” It’s easy for marriage partners to become experts at identifying the negative traits of the other person and ignore or minimize the positive ones. Negative sentiment is powerful and destructive to marriage. Research shows that to build a happy marriage, couples need a ratio of at least 5 positive interactions for every negative one.

Here’s a way to increase the positive interactions: First, make a list all of the things you admire and appreciate about your spouse. One husband wrote, “She helps me solve work problems.” A wife wrote, “He scratches my back even when he’s tired.”

From this list, choose two or three qualities and rehearse them in your mind. The next time you’re tempted to focus on your husband or wife’s weaknesses, override the temptation by focusing on the positive qualities you chose.

Catch your spouse doing good. Notice the kind and generous things your spouse does and express gratitude for them. Some spouses leave notes in a briefcase or purse. One spouse wrote, “Thanks for listening to me gripe last night-it made all the difference in my outlook today.”

Have a friendly conversation. Regularly find a quiet, uninterrupted time to talk as friends. Take turns picking topics that interest you. Consider some of the following subjects: your family of origin, personal goals or dreams or aspirations, a recent book or movie, current events such as sports or politics.

Hold a life story interview. Interview your partner about his or her life story. Good interviewers ask penetrating questions and listen intently. Try to draw out one another as you share together as friends.

Attend to the little things that show love and friendship. Regularly do things that build love and friendship, such as spending time together, giving gifts, serving one another, offering encouragement, and being affectionate.

Additional Readings:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
By John Gottman

Fighting for Your Marriage
by Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, and Susan Blumberg.

Additional Websites 

Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service Website - The Marriage Garden
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/marriage/default.htm

source site: click here

read my monthly column!

"i've just gotta say it!"
 
July 2009
 
by Kathleen Howe
I'm sorry I've been so busy this month I don't have time to complete this column.. Come back next month though!

I wrote this article for newsvine and decided I couldn't put it off here within the network any longer!

What This Nation Needs Is Nurture

by Kathleen Howe

Oprah has done it again - an unfortunate weight fluctuation of forty pounds has forced photos of her behind to cover not only the tabloids, but our television screens as well. Those of us who watch the Today Show have noticed that Al Roker looks like he needs another gastric bypass surgery; his weight has really gone up and I think more than forty pounds. We all know - it doesn't work that way with gastric bypass surgery though. Why do these people get so much attention concerning their weight and why can't they keep the weight off?

Ricki Lake claims she'll never get that big again, but will she? Really? Who believes her? Star Jones? Will she get that big again in light of the fact that she too, had gastric bypass surgery and may have never dealt with the original problem that was causing her to partake in the addiction of food? We've all been educated concerning Dr. Phil's theory on finding your authentic self, and recently he's come out with a new book that will be a best seller that deals with what you do after experiencing a life shattering moment. Why hasn't Oprah followed her Golden Boy's advice?
And Al Roker? It has been hinted upon that there are underlying father issues there - is he working too hard to pay attention to nurturing himself?

My therapist has agreed with me that my life experiences could be portrayed daily for over a month on the Dr. Phil show and we still might not have addressed all of my traumas, crisis, abusive and dysfunctional relationships. But the same thing that keeps me losing and gaining weight is the same thing that causes Oprah, Al and even Ricki Lake the up and down weight problems - the lack of nurture in our lives. I've spent the past seven years of my life helping others - nurturing others - day in and day out - but I have forgotten to be nurturing to myself.

The lack of nurture in the lives of all Americans has only bred negativity, greediness, dysfunctional family relationships, corrupt political currents, pessimism, war, unethical business practices, illegal medical practices - you name it within the American public and the leaders of the same great nation. The earth is suffering - as well animals, plant life, and the atmosphere. The world subscribes to allowing hunger, genocide and poverty to continue to run rampant over learning how to be nurturing.

Power, money, greed, addiction and no nurture. There are millions of people with depression in this country and no one wants to address the reason for it. I myself, went back to my therapist and told her what had been transpiring in my life over the past three years since my last visit and within twenty minutes she put up her hand and yelled, "STOP!" She knew the answer - "You haven't received an ounce of nurture in three years since I saw you. What do you expect? Does anyone feel good about anything if they don't experience any nurturing in their lives?"

This caused me to think about the whole situation - the world as we know it. We've seen a few people, a very small number of actors and actresses that have decided to be nurturing throughout the world and within their private lives. Brad Pitt and Angie have not only formed a family through the normal reproductive means, but through adoption. They've consumed their lives with helping others. They've come out of themselves and used their well earned monies to help other people - unconditional love towards other - is that nurturing?

The dictionary says this about nurturing.

nurture

verb.

  1. to feed and protect: to nurture one's offspring

  2. to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development; foster: to nurture promising musicians.

  3. to bring up; train; educate.

    noun

  4. rearing, upbringing, training, education, or the like.

  5. development: the nurture of young artists

  6. something that nourishes; nourishment; food.

Synonyms: These verbs mean to promote and sustain the growth and development of: nurturing hopes; cultivating tolerance; foster friendly relations; nursed the fledgling business.

I've listened closely as Brad Pitt has talked about the way his project in New Orleans has been run and I'm actually very impressed with the way it has been run. Oprah opened a school, which was a lifetime dream and had to deal with the unfortunate trigger when abusive practices were found out - perhaps that situation spurned her weight gain? But the point here is - we must all take care of ourselves first. If we weren't nurtured properly as children we must fight our demons, educate ourselves, thoroughly understand what we missed and re-parent ourselves.

We must learn how to nurture our children and it's never too late to do it! We can nurture our adult children just as we need to nurture ourselves. We can apologize to our adult children for not knowing better, for being ignorant, and get with the program to tell them what we have learned in learning to nurture ourselves. It's essential. Oprah, Al and the rest of you out there - get with the self nurturing and you'll find there's a difference in your life.

I was reading, "The Art and Science of Raising Healthy Children; by Stephen J. Bavolek, Ph.D; click on the link below
click here - or type it into your browser! It's a quick little article about parenting. Here's part of it that's crucial to know about!

Technically, parenting is a process of interactions designed to nourish, protect, and guide a new life through the course of its development. The parenting process begins at the creation of the new individual and continues to be practiced throughout a lifetime in varying
degrees of intensity. The process of parenting entails four main tasks:

1. To foster physical and mental health.

2. To provide emotional warmth and nurturance.

3. To provide opportunities for the development of individuality and intellect.

4. To facilitate social and emotional competence.

When these tasks are carried out in the context of a strong emotional tie with a caretaker who stimulates a positive view of other people and the world, children have the opportunity to develop their own individual potentials to the fullest extent. When the tie between the caregiver and child is not established or is strained, children and parents alike will face trying times.

Mr. Bavolek continues to talk about in his article that there are some guidelines that parents must follow when parenting their children. I know that most of us, the Baby Boomers, never had the opportunity to experience the importance of learning these factions. Our parents weren't equipped to parent us just as their parents weren't equipped to parent them. It's been a huge chain reaction of trial and error with lots of errors giving us the social dilemma we're experiencing today!

The rotten economy is no more than a rotten social dilemma! If we had some nurtured business leaders out there in the business world that actually wanted to nurture their employees and their business partners - things would be courageously different! Things have been falling apart for generations. There's no loyalty, pride or ethics in business anymore.

This nation needs to stop worrying about what Oprah is going to do next with her forty pound weight gain. What needs to be done is a re-educating process for all Americans. We need to learn what nurture is. We need role models like Brad Pitt and his wife. Oprah would be a better role model if she just took the time to nurture herself. I'm finding that this is what my problem has been after a seven year personal growth recovery journey. I thought of everything but nurture.

I agree with these building blocks of parenting that need to be addressed.

The Building Blocks of the Parenting Process
Bonding and Attachment
Empathy
Self-Awareness
Touch
Discipline
Unconditional Love, Honesty, and Respect
Knowledge of Development

I also have realized that those of us who weren't parented with these factors in mind, need to spend some serious time learning more about them, reflect upon our own pasts and childhoods and understand where things might have been different for us if we had been so educated. Just understanding that our parents didn't have a clue about these important life factors helps us to understand that it wasn't quite as "personal" as it has felt to us.

Although those of us who have experienced abuse, trauma crisis and other uncontrollable situations; we still need to study these things, understand them and re-parent our own children and learn how we can nurture ourselves. Not only do we need to nurture ourselves, but after understanding it all and experiencing success with self nurturing we need to reach out to our communities and the world to make changes through nurturing others.

Perhaps a nurtured world would be less threatening and painful. My son told me that all he wanted for Christmas was "world peace;" and now I have something to discuss with him. I can teach him what I didn't know when he was a little boy - nurturing him as an adult, showing him how he can nurture himself and then how nurturing others is a step towards the World Peace he so desperately hopes for.

So, "i just gotta say it!" take this information seriously and study it. Address the nurturing problems you have with yourself, your family and in your life in other areas. It's incredible that you can learn and learn and learn and understand and understand - (which has been my motto - educate - understand - and change) but if you don't nurture yourself, you won't have the energy to make the changes.
 
You need to re-gain your power as I've stated on the abuse site. You need to re-gain control in your life. And you need to be strong! Finally I added the word "strong" to a website! You must get strong so you can make the changes you need to make.
 
Work with me folks! Send me an e-mail after you've looked around here and see if nurturing doesn't change your life just a teeny tiny bit!

explore your emotions and feelings with me....

I understand that you are in a hurry to find what you need to know. I'll keep it short on this page and explain more about me on "my personal story" page!
 
 
If you still can't find what you need to know and you would like help finding it, please click on the provided e-mail links to send me an e-mail with what you're searching for. This network of sites is extremely special to me. I'm here if you just need to vent - if you need a shoulder to lean on - a friend - or just a sounding board for whatever you need to say. I'm almost always here. Feel free to e-mail me anytime. I was once where you are and I know exactly how it feels.
 
kathleen 

Emotion and Feeling Sites

 

emotional feelings

 

This website is the HOMEPAGE for the entire network of over 30 websites!

 

At the emotional feelings site you will find the following information:

 

My personal story: A brief description of who I am and why I offer this network of sites. Read my monthly column, "i just gotta say it!" on this page as well!

 

Keeping In Touch: Additional information with current articles and bits of information that you can ponder upon.

 

The following emotion and feeling words are located at this website:

 

feeling abandoned

feeling absorbed

feeling abused

feeling accepted

feeling of accomplishment

feeling accountable

feeling acknowledged

feeling admiration or feeling admired

feeling affectionate

feeling affirmed

feeling afraid

feeling aggravated

feeling aggressive

feeling agitated

feeling in agony or agonized

feeling alienated

feeling alone

feeling ambivalent

feeling angry

feeling annoyed

feeling antagonistic

feeling anticipation

feeling anxious or anxiety

feeling apathetic

feeling apologetic

feeling appreciated

feeling apprehensive

feeling arrogant or feelings of arrogance

feeling ashamed

feeling assertive

feeling attached

feeling attentive

feeling available

feeling avoidance

feeling  aware

feeling awkward

 

When learning about your emotions and feelings, be sure to visit the emotion and feeling pages for the emotions and feelings that you would like to feel and know more about as well as the ones you are presently feeling.

more-emotional feelings

 

This site adds a few extra emotions and feelings beginning with the letter "a" like emotional feelings has; as well as a continuation of some of the same emotions and feelings as the home site!

 

The following feeling and emotions words are presently within this website:

 

feeling abandoned

feeling able

feeling abused

feeling accepted

feeling adequate

feeling afraid

feeling agreeable

feeling altruistic

feeling amiable

feeling amused

feeling angered

feeling anguished

feeling animated

feeling apologetic

feeling assured

feeling audacious

feeling available

feeling avoidance

feeling aware

emotional feelings, 3

 

 

This website contains the emotion and feelings words beginning with the letter, "b."

 

feeling badgered

feeling balanced

feeling battered

feeling belittled

feeling belligerent

feeling belonging

feeling benevolence

feeling berated

feeling betrayed

feeling bewildered

feeling bigotry

feeling bitter

feeling blamed

feeling bored

feeling brave

feeling broken

feeling burdened

emotional feelings, 2

 

 

This website contains the emotion and feelings words beginning with the letter, "c."

 

feeling calm

feeling capable

feeling cared for

feeling carefree

feeling careless

feeling cautious

feeling centered

feeling challenged

feeling cheerful

feeling clarity

feeling close

feeling comfortable

feeling committed

feeling compassionate

feeling complacent

feeling concerned

feeling confident

feeling conflicted

feeling confused

feeling connected

feeling considerate

feeling contented

feeling controlled

feeling convicted

feeling courageous

feeling curious

emotional feelings, 4

 

This website holds the following emotion and feelings words that begin with the letter, "d."

 

feeling deceived

feeling dedicated

feeling defeated

feeling defenseless

feeling defensive

feeling defiant

feeling degraded

feeling dejected

feeling demeaned

feeling demoralized

feeling in denial

feeling dependent

feeling depressed

feeling deprived

feeling desired

feeling despair

feeling desperation, feeling desperate

feeling truly desperate

feeling detached

feeling determined

feeling devastated

feeling devious

feeling devoted

feeling dignified

feeling disappointed

feeling disconnected

feeling discontented

feeling discouraged

feeling disgusted

feeling dishonest

feeling disillusioned

feeling dismal

feeling disrespected

feeling dissatisfied

feeling distant

feeling distracted

feeling disturbed

feeling distressed

feeling doubtful

feeling dysfunctional

feeling emotional, too

 

This website contains the emotion and feelings words that begin with the letters "e" and "f".

 

feeling eager

feeling embarrassed

feeling empathetic

feeling empty

feeling encouraged

feeling enlightened

feeling enthusiastic

feeling envied - feeling envious

feeling excited

feeling excluded

feeling exploited

feelings of failure

feelings of fairness

feeling faithful

feeling fearful - 3 pages of fear

feeling fear in different intensities i.e., scared, frightened, terrified

feeling fearless

feeling foolish

feeling forgiving

feeling forgotten

feeling fortunate

feeling frantic

feeling free

feeling friendly

feeling frustrated

feeling fulfilled

 
 
feeling generous
feeling gentle
feeling genuine
feeling giving
feeling grateful
feeling gratified
feeling grief, grieving
feeling guilty
feeling happy
feeling hatred
feeling helpful/helpless
feeling honest
feeling honored
feeling hopeful/hopeless
feeling hostile, feelings of hostility
feeling humble, feelings of humility
feeling humiliated
feeling hurt
feeling hysterical
feeling idealistic
feeling ignorant
feeling ignored
feeling impatient
feeling imperfect
feeling important
feeling impulsive
feeling inadequate
feeling inattentive
feeling incapable
feeling independent
feeling indifferent
feeling inferior
feeling inflexible
feeling inhibited
feeling innocent
feeling insecure
feeling insensitive
feeling insignificant
feeling insulted
feelings of integrity
feeling intimate
feeling intimidated
feeling intolerant
feeling irrational
feeling irresponsible
feeling irritated
feeling isolated

feeling emotional, 3

 

The emotion and feeling words that begin with the letters, "J" - "k" - "l" - "m" and "n."

 

feeling jealous

feeling joyful

feeling judged or judgmental

feeling justified

feeling kind

feeling liberated

feeling limited

feeling lonely

feeling loved - 3 pages of information concerning love

feeling manipulated

feeling mean

feeling melancholy

feeling melodramatic

feeling miserable

feeling misunderstood

feeling motivated

feeling naive

feeling needed, needs, need, needy - 2 pages of this information

feeling negative

feeling neglected

feeling neurotic

feeling numb

feeling emotional

 

This is an old site, one of the few that took on the original growth spurt, but is now still here - holding its own - and has some new emotions and feelings to be added onto. There are some articled on some of the new pages, but watch for new info to be added all the time!

 

feeling obligated

feeling offended

feeling open

feeling optimistic

feeling overwhelmed

feeling passive

feeling passionate

feeling patient

feeling peaceful

feeling pessimistic

feeling pitiful

feeling possessive

feeling positive

feeling powerful/powerless

feeling pressured

feeling protected

feeling proud

feeling punished

feeling rageful

feeling rational

feeling realistic

feeling receptive

feeling recognized

feeling regretful

feeling rejected

feeling relaxed

feeling reliable

feeling relieved

feeling remorseful

feeling resentful

feeling resilient

feeling respected

feeling responsible

feeling revengeful

feeling emotional, 5

 

This site came about because Tripod, the host of these free-sites, accidentally deleted one of my sites called, "emotional feelings." I had to quickly change all the links on 30+ sites that went to emotional feelings - and I'm afraid I haven't finished the job yet. But feeling emotional, 5 added a few more emotions and feelings to the mix and is almost completed. Bear with me on the completion of the site please!

 

The following emotions and feelings are found at feeling emotional, 5.

 

feeling sad

feeling safe

feeling satisfied

feeling secure

feeling selfish

feeling sensitive

feeling serene

feeling serious

feeling shaken

feeling shameful

feeling shy

feeling sickened

feeling sincere

feeling slighted

feeling special

feeling stable

feeling stifled

feeling stubborn

feeling successful

feeling supported

feeling suspicious

feeling sympathetic

feeling tender

feeling thoughtful/thoughtless

feeling threatened

feeling tolerant

feeling tormented

feeling tranquil

feeling trapped

feeling traumatized

feeling trusted

feeling truthful

feeling understanding / understood

feeling validated

feeling valued

feeling victimized

feeling vindicated

feeling violated

feeling vulnerable

feeling wise/wisdom

feeling worthless/worthy

feeling wounded

your unemotional side

 

This site deals with words that begin with the two letters "un" before an emotion or feeling. This site has the first half of the alphabet and the #2 site deals with the last half of the alphabet!

 

unable

unaccepted

unacknowledged

unaffectionate

unafraid

unanticipated

unappreciated

unavailable

unaware

unbalanced

unbelievable

unburdened

uncaring

uncertain

uncomfortable

uncommitted

unconcerned

undeserving

undesired

unemotional

unfair

unfaithful

unfeeling

unforgiving

unfortunate

unfriendly

unfulfilled

ungrateful

unhappy

unhealthy

uninhibited

unjust

unkind

 

your unemotional side, 2

unlimited
feeling unloved

feeling unmotivated
feeling unneeded
feeling unpleasant
feeling unprotected
feeling unprovoked
unrealistic feelings
feeling unreliable
unrecognized feelings, feeling unrecognized
unresolved feelings
feeling unsafe
feeling unsuccessful

thank you for visiting the newest site of the emotional feelings network of sites - "nurture 101"!!!!
 
be sure to make your way throughout the emotional feelings network of sites... you won't be sorry and you'll be sure to learn something new!